The Dark Phoenix

Welcome to my blog!

My name is Alexander Schrøder. I'm 18 years old as of April 6, 2004. I live in Oslo, the capital of Norway.

I won't tell you that much about me. If you'd like to know me, read my blog entries. They contain so much about me, they should let you know who I am. I pour my thoughts and activities into it.

   

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Tuesday, January 06, 2004
You know.. thinking is my thing

People still can't walk on the right side of the staircases. (Read my first post) Neither can they stand on the right side when not walking down an escalator. People are supposed to stand on the right side in them when they're standing still, so that people in a hurry actually can pass by them on their left side. "Well, no, why? I am the most important person in this world, so why should I move?" Stupid people and their attitude. Or at least it would be better if they would change their attitude. People who think they're better than everybody else really bother me.

Technology is great an all, but is it for the best? All technological advances man has made the last couple of centuries have in some way or another made something else worse. I'll just make some examples. Like the combustion engine and the discovery of what oil can be used to. Okay, so it helps us with stuff like flying (airplanes), fast boats and cars, making power (electricity mainly), plastic, asphalt/tarmac, and such. But doesn't it hurt us too? Yes it does. Pollution from combustion engines ain't healthy for anyone, especially those poor people with asthma living in cities with lots of smog. Even though smog is really bad for most people, those with asthma can't even go out when it gets really bad. I remember some cases where I live where the pollution was so bad that children in kindergardens were held inside cause of the bad air outside and old people were advised to stay inside because of the horrible amounts of pollution in the air. It's really sad to hear about these things. Or what about plastic? It's a very good idea, but what about when people throw it away in nature? Plastic is not a material that is quickly broken down naturally, like bio-waste. I mean, you gotta hand credit to McDonals for using (or have been using) their edible cartons, they were made of biological substances, and were easily broken down by nature. Mmm.. not only that is bad about plastic, but it has appeared by relatively recent research that plastic contains synthetic hormones, and when these make their way into the body, they slowly screw things up. And how about the sewer systems? God, what a stupid idea. Well, the system itself is not too bad an idea, but who came up with mixing good, usable manure (yes, I'm talking of your excrement and pee) with poisons, synthetics, acids, corrosives and so forth? What happens to it is that it is taken out of the water, and burnt. And instead we use synthetic fertilizers. What's the deal with that? I believe that in Mexico they have this smart system where the excrements are stored separately from regular sewer, and picked up by farmers, and used. This way what is taken from earth is given back to it, unlike when you burn it, and just cause trouble. Seriously, it was a lot better a long while back when people basically just went outta their caves and behind a bush or something, and just dropped it there.

Another thing that troubles me with technology is the fact that we're becoming too dependant on it. We should really just turn it all off and spend a day somewhere without any modern things once in a while. Like take a vacation in a cottage up in some mountain with only wood to heat and snow to drink. You'd of course have to bring food, unless you also wish to hunt, but that's the most modern thing you'd bring up. Oh yes, and clothing. No power, no water, no phone, no internet, no tv, no nothing. Just existing. I think people should do that more often. Like at least once a year. Back to basics. I think it'd do everyone good.

Another though that kinda just.. slipped into my mind was that "what would the world look like if nobody ruined anything?" And no, I'm not thinking if there were no wars or anything, but more how it would look if nobody painted on walls, ripped bus seats, crushed street lights, teared down posters and so forth. Would there be cool and nifty things like for instance electronic maps, interactive posters, you imagine! Although this will never be true because of some motherf*## morons who can't keep their stupid brat hands away from anything and ruins for those who don't, it's a nice thought. Oh well, the world is more or less crap, so let's just accept it that way. It's like, you can't constantly think of the poor people in Africa every time you throw away some food when you're not hungry anymore. It'll just screw you up bad. So just take it like it is.. unless you feel like you can really change something. But that's up to you, I won't move onto that now. No.. I'm actually done now.

Posted at 18:13 by darkphoenix
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Saturday, January 03, 2004
It's the first Saturday of 2004...

...as if anyone cares.

I came home from Finland yesterday (although I never said anything about actually leaving, except for mentioning it a couple of days ago, I did go there at December 28) and decided I'd write about it, cause it was totally wonderful.

I'll try doing this diary-style, so let's see... (To skip this part, click here)

December 28

I leave Norway about 13:00 on my way to Helsinki. (In case you don't know, Helsinki is the capital of Finland)

I'll just mention it, since I haven't before; I love to fly. Airplanes are like... fun! There are two stages of a flight I love the most, and since there are only three stages, and it's not the longest of them, it just has to be take-off and landing that I'm talking about. I know I was gonna write about my trip and all, but hey, this is my blog, whomever you are, and since it's my blog, I decide what I write here, and if you don't like it, you can just stop reading, see? Anyway, I was about to say that the reason I like take-off is particularly the feeling of getting pushed back into the seat (gives you a hint that you're dealing with high acceleration) as the plane speeds up, and the feeling of starting to fly, as the plane actually leaves the ground. And then there's landing, which feels like a mild version of a rollercoaster-drop. VERY mild though, but anyway. I also think it's cool when the plane touches the ground. When you're at very high speed, and you make contact with the ground again. It feels sorta risky at that point. Like, "this is the most risky part" feeling. I bet it actually is too. *heh*

Back to the actual story, I land in Helsinki, and then I have to wait there for four hours until the plane that's gonna take me to my girlfriend's city is departing. And I don't know about you, but when I actually need to kill time, I never manage to do it. I had comics with me, a GameBoy, food.. but nothing really appealed to me. First of all, I was really excited that I was going to see my girlfriend again, and secondly, I have this kind of "everything is boring" period, (read the latest entries here) so the four hours did really feel like four hours. Or more.

At least the plane departs for Kuopio, my girlfriend's city, and I feel really excited about it. Haven't seen her since sometime in July, and have missed her a lot ever since. It lands, I go out, and as I walk towards the arrival gate, I see her standing inside there, and I just can't help smiling, and if you've ever been away from your love for such a long time, and you finally get to see this person again, it's no wonder you're feel happy then, and so you'll understand how I felt. So I walk inside, and see her smile at me too, and moments later we're in each other's arms, just like in those romantic movies (*haha*, this is so lame.. ;) - anyway, those hugs... the first one you have with a person you love that you haven't seen for such a long time.. those almost feel like they make time stop, and that all that ever matters is that you're with this person. And that's really all that mattered there and then. I had missed her so intensely, and now finally I got to be with her again. I love her so much. She means the world to me... mmhm.. I miss her right now. I'm here back in Norway again.. and she's over there. Yeah... *sigh* - once again I digress... so.. we pick up my luggage, and then drive to her place. I don't think much more happened that evening, except that we watched WWE RAW and WWE SmackDown! (I think. I guess she'll correct me if I'm wrong. ;) on the finnish channel SubTV.

The days December 29 & 30 were of no interest to those not involved in it, and they're not the kind of days you'd write about in a diary (unless you're the kind that writes "woke up, ate breakfast, brushed teeth.." (you get the point)) so I'll just skip them, and jump straight to the last day of 2003, the very day I went to Finland for (Yeah, it was not to meet my girlfriend or anything *COUGHCOUGH*) - New Years Eve.

December 31

We decided to spend the New Years Eve with one of my girlfriend's friends, her name is Ninni. The first thing we did, if I remember everything correctly were to go and buy food for the next morning, and snacks for the evening. Then we went and rented a movie.. we decided to pick Not Another Teen Movie. It was an OK movie, but first of all, you'd really have to see all the movies it makes fun of to understand half of it, and secondly there'd be plenty of movies I'd suggest before I'd suggest this one. In other words, it was OK, yeah. Funny it was though, if you like sick and twisted humor.

So we watched that for its duration, but it wasn't enough, there was still quite a long while left until 2004, so we decided to watch another movie, something that Ninni actually owned. We decided to watch Spiderman. Or.. I decided, and they agreed. Something along those lines. Spiderman is quite a good movie. At least I really liked it when I first saw it. Now I'd just call it mediocre.

Okay, so finally it's time to go out and celebrate and such. We get dressed for the cold (It wasn't that cold though, only about -10C) and head out to take a bus into the center of the city. So we stand in the middle of the city on the market place there, lots of people around, fireworks all around, and it's really neat. Cold, yet neat. Most importantly, I was with my girlfriend. And unlike last years New Years Eve, which was totally horrible and boring and everything that is not positive, this time I had a great time, and I swear it was because I got to be with my girlfriend. (I suppose I've made that clear already...)

A while after the clock showed 0:00, we went over to see and greet some of her class mates, a nice group of people, which we eventually took a large taxi with back to where Ninni lives, to stay there for the night.

Janury 01

First I wake up. Then I just lie there. I always feel sorta bad about waking people up. Especially cause I'm usually one of those who wake up quite early. I think I waited about 30 minutes, until I finally decided to wake my girlfriend up. Then we waited about 30 minutes before we woke Ninni up. Interesting, ain't it? So, anyway, after a while, when we were all beyond the drowzy stage you usually are in when you wake up, we just talked for hours. Mostly about wrestling, if my mind serves me right. Then we left Ninni, and the rest of the day was pretty much like the other two days I skipped - rather regular.

December 02

Aaah! The armageddon! Or well.. the day I have to leave my girlfriend again. I at least got to spend the morning with her. And have one last meal with her. (Oh, doesn't that sound so dramatic?) We left her house for the airport at 13:45 or so, and I left Kuopio by plane at about 14:45.

Back to Helsinki for yet another wait, "only" two hours this time. Then back in Oslo at 18:30 or so, met with my family, and that's the end of the best New Years Eve to my memory.
I wish it didn't end so soon. I'd stay with her for years if I could. She means everything to me. I want the world to know, and now I give it a chance! Go on and read this. :P

I don't have much left to say now except for HAPPY NEW YEAR, and I wish whomever is reading this a happy (happier?) 2004. :)

Posted at 13:51 by darkphoenix
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Friday, December 26, 2003
Life's just so boring sometimes

I'm in one of those times now. Let me see.. since about December 20 or so, I've been really really bored with absolutely everything. None of my games are fun anymore. I don't feel like programming, which I usually love. I don't feel like making a web page, or doing something else fun on my PC. Heh.. fun. It used to be anyway. Now everything is dull. I really hope this phase is just temporary. A day is a long time, and just using it do wonder what to do, but never ever reach a conclusion isn't fun. It's BORING.

At least I can get some time to pass by by writing to my blog.. let's see. Why don't I list those presents I was supposed to list when blogdrive last crashed after all...

    Christmas presents 2003:
  • 2x400g of Haribo Peaches. Eaten and gone already. *heh*
  • 2x300 NOK with so-called "Present cards", which means I can only use them in the shop they're aquired in. JC in this case.
  • A bar of norwegian milk chocolate
  • A pair of socks
  • A pair of boxer shorts
  • A total of 1000 NOK in cash
  • 60 EUR in cash. At least one person should know what these are intended for.. :)
1 USD = 6.75 NOK
1 EUR = 8.37 NOK


Yeah... it's been a rather sad christmas for me. Reason? Read the first paragraph. At least the upcoming new year's eve will be great. I'll be with my love all the time... :)

Posted at 19:35 by darkphoenix
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Friday, December 19, 2003
School's finally over

At least for about three weeks or so. I'm feeling relieved now. :)

So.. what am I gonna do this Christmas holiday? I've been wondering. You see, lately I've been feeling really unable to do anything useful, and on top of that, I don't find any of my games particularly fun nor interesting anymore. It's terrible. I just sit around doing.. well.. nothing. Or playing games just to get time to go. But I don't find it funny. *sigh* I've been thinking about getting more social and visit friends. Sadly that means I've gotta move my ass, something which I find really dull. But I guess I could try, if it means I won't be as bored as I'll be by staying home.

Anyway, Christmas is getting closer, which means that at least one day will be taken care of by TV and gift unwrapping and such things... and the two days after Christmas will also be taken care of I suppose. Going to other people's houses, such as my grandma.

What I'm looking the most forward to though, is the visit I'm gonna make to my girlfriend. I'm gonna stay at her place over New Years Eve, yay. :) I'm leaving Norway the 28th of December, and will be with her until the 3rd of January, I think it was. Yeah.

Until next time, uh... bye.

Posted at 18:45 by darkphoenix
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Monday, December 15, 2003
Loneliness...

ain't just a condition you can be in anymore. If you feel lonely, you're more or less just a part of the epidemic going around in teens all around the world these days. I read blogs on random, and on purpose, and wherever I go, I swear, if that person is a teen, there's at least one place in that blog where the person shows great dissatisfaction about his/her life, and usually blames it on a feeling of being lonely. I know what I'm talking about here, I even have an entry of that kind myself in my blog-history here somewhere. It's sad. I think it was different before.

I was just talking to a friend about this.. trying to make up reasons for this sad epidemic that seems to be affecting every teenager alive these days. Almost everybody at least. One thing that we both agreed on was that it's hard being a teen today. No matter which direction or appearance or group of friends you choose, you'll be criticized for it. If you decide to be a loner, and dress in totally non-mainstream clothes, and listen to music most of the world would be repulsed by, of course you'll be criticized for it, and eventually that'll be a problem, unless you're a very strong person.. Or let's say you ARE totally mainstream, you listen to the music everybody else listens to, you dress like everybody else, you like what everybody else likes, and so on. But no. That's not good enough for society either. Cause then you're not being enough of an individual!

And how about caring for someone? If you don't care, nobody will like you, you'll appear icy and withdrawn, and you'll most likely be left lonely by others. And what if you care, eh? Then someone will most likely abuse that, and hurt you in some way or another. It's just really hard to make anything go well these days.

The world's teenage mood appears to me to be dropping in general. Life just gets more and more shitty for people, and who's to blame? I dunno. I guess it's all the technological advancements we've made the last couple of hundred years. I believe there was a lot less trouble when life was simpler. As life gets more complicated.. life gets more difficult.

Posted at 21:42 by darkphoenix
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Sunday, December 14, 2003
Too much time on my hands?

Yeah. And so I figured I'd just list what languages I know and would like to know, and maybe even why on some of them:
  • I know/speak/write:
    • Norwegian - Naturally, that's also what I am. :)
    • English - Hmm.. no, really?
  • I understand/apprehend:
    • German - Had to learn it at school. Wanted to actually learn it as well as I know English, but my stupid teacher ruined it for me. At least I understand it.
    • Swedish - My neighbour country, it's basically the same language as Norwegian.
    • Danish - Same goes with Danish, as with Swedish. Harder to apprehend, but I get most of it
    • Icelandish - OK, so this is on the brink of understanding. It's hard to understand when spoken, but I can read it in many cases. If I understand enough words, I get the picture
  • I would like to understand/apprehend/know/speak/write:
    • German - Yes, indeed.
    • Finnish - That's where my girlfriend's from. I'll maybe live there some day. Would be nice to know the language then. I also find it quite interesting in the first place.
    • Japanese - I'm a huge fan of japanese stuff, such as their cartoons, games, tv-shows and the like. So knowing japanese wouldn't be bad
    • French - One of the languages I believe you should just.. know
    • Russian - Awesome languge. I just like this really much for some reason
  • If time/interest permits, I'd also like to know these in some way:
    • Spanish/Portugese
    • Italian
    • Chinese
    • Urdu/Arabian/Hindi
There you go. I think I've put my list way over my head, but who knows? There are actually people out there who know 22+ languages. So.. at least I would like to know these. Whether or not I actually ever will is another story.

Posted at 00:23 by darkphoenix
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Saturday, December 13, 2003
Soon it's christmas *yays with glee*

Oh, how lovely the sarcasm. Just like my last post, I must say - Chrismas was a lot better when I was a kid. When I still believed in Santa Claus. Back then, Christmas started in the beginning of December or earliest in the end of November, and it seemed that the ideal was that everybody were to be happy and nice with each other. Today, the ideal seems to be start it as early as possible, so that we can make as much money as possible on it, and also by doing that, make christmas more everydayish, so that the ideals of being nice and happy gets dimmed and less important. *sigh* Christmas is not what it used to be.

Posted at 18:59 by darkphoenix
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Thursday, December 11, 2003
I've been thinking again. (Bad, eh?)

I remember when I was a kid. The world was so nice then. Nothing to be worried about. No worries. Didn't know anything about all the shit going on in the world. No, the world then consisted of sleeping, eating and playing. Life was simple. It's just like Lisa Simpson says in one of the Simpsons episodes... "I've found that as intelligence increases, happiness often decreases. Look, I even made a graph! I make a lot of graphs." It's a cute quote. It's not entirely true though, as I get huge satisfaction from knowing, however, by knowing, you also learn about a lot of bad things, which, finally, really brings you down. But you can't really think about it all the time either, cause if you walk around all day only thinking about the bad things in the world, you'll just be so depressed that you won't see life fit for living anymore. Oh well, in conclusion, here's my thought about it: Ignorance equals happiness, while knowledge equals satisfaction and sorrow. In other words, by getting the advantages you get when you're knowledged, you also have to pay the price of sorrow.

Dang, I can't get that topic moving on. Besides, I talk too much, seriously. I also talk like this goes for everybody. I only talk out of own knowledge and feelings, although the quote by Lisa Simpson was definately not invented by me, yet it thoroughly explains what I think is true. The cool part is, a knowledged person can act stupid, and succeed. A stupid person cannot act smart, and succeed.

Another thing that has been on my mind lately is the world. Yes, the world. Is it the way we see it? This has bothered me for years. (and no, this thought is by far not Matrix inspired, I was thinking about this long before the Matrix was even on Cinemas) I mean, for all I know, I'm placed here, and I'm the only person who has intellect, sense and reason, and that all other people, which I see, talk to, and in general meet, all over, are just dolls, made only for me to think I'm not all alone. They appear to be real, but are only programmed to be like that. It's a thought. I am not saying it is like that. But I can't really say it ain't either. Another possibility is that of "The Truman Show", where a baby is adopted by a company and brought up inside a huge TV-studio, believing that the world he is placed in is the actual world, while he's actually just the star in a tv-show, and the whole real world is watching him. In my case, that would mean that a whole planet has been constructed (makes it a lot more realistic, doesn't it, than just a city?) just to act as a studio for my "being", so that some world, which in reality is much bigger, gets a real-life show of me. Anyway, it's rather farfetched, I know.

Last, I just wish to throw around some thoughts about religion. I've said it before, I'm an agnostic, so I don't have any religious beliefs, however, I find religion, in itself, very interesting. As far as I know, there are 4 Christian in my class, whereof two are catholics and two are lutheran protestants, 1 who is hindu, and 6 are muslim. The rest of the class (we're 23 I belive) are either atheists/agnostics or they won't admit to their faith. These beliefs show very clearly in our philosophical classes. People often link their philosophical beliefs up against their faith, which is understandable, but when people say "the Bible says that (...) and therefore it is so" I either think "well said", if what the person said made sense according to what we were discussing, and actually made a point, or "brainwashed sucker" if what the person brings up is brought up just because a certain point in his/her faith is questioned, and s/he feels like s/he has to defend that. In such cases, I believe people are unable to speak for themselves, and only quote what others have said. That feels wrong in a way too though. Because, according to their religion, that is what is right.

On the "other side of the spectrum", I have a friend who is a satanist. He's even a moderator at The Satanist Net. Anyway, he is of the faith that Jehova (commonly referred to just as God, for those ignorant enough not to know so) is the evil one, who wishes people only to believe in him, and ignore any other god, and that Satan is the true God. I've read about satanism and Satan and stuff, and it makes just as much sense as Christianity and any other religion I've seen, which is why I do not wish to become religious. Although I find it interesting, I find most of it too farfetched to even be remotely true, and even if it is, it's so terribly presented that it doesn't convince me. I don't wish to exclude the possibility of a "higher power", but I doubt any religion today has discovered what that truly is, so I do not wish to relate to it.

I've you've bothered to read this far, you're either truly bored, or my text truly interested you. In any way, I must disappoint you by saying that my entertaining/interesting text is about to end, as it is getting late, and I feel like sleeping. At least I got said what I felt like saying.

Posted at 23:43 by darkphoenix
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Monday, December 08, 2003
Moon moon moonshine...

I like the moon. I LOVE the moon. The moon is really fascinating. If you can be in a room where the moon shines in, and you can turn the lights all off, so the moon is the only source of light, I can assure you that the silvery shine of the moon is a beautiful sight.. and furthermore, if the moon is full, or at least quite full, it's really pretty to look at too. Give it a go if you haven't.

Posted at 20:35 by darkphoenix
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Sunday, December 07, 2003
It's cooooold.....*shivers*

I'm freezing my ass off here. I left my window open tonight, and when it is below 0C, that's not very comfortable to wake up to. For those of you who have ever gone from a very warm place (eg. under the bed quilt) to a very cold place (eg. my room in winter when my window has been left open and it's less than 0C outside) knows that this contrast makes the transition even tougher. I've dressed now, and closed the window, and had breakfast and seen a movie downstairs (I live in my room upstairs) and I wear slippers now. It's not very much warmer here I believe, but at least I don't freeze much. I do not intend to heat my room at all, I like it cold. Really cold. So my headline does not really count at the moment.. but it sure did when I woke up, hehe.

Other news, since I'm so extremely interesting... I'm gonna make, or at least I think I'm gonna make, a site where my class can meet out and have a forum, and stuff like that. Anyway, that's more or less out of interest for most of you, as you're not in my class anyway.

Yeah, I don't have more to say right now. I do remember that I had something very neat to say about two nights ago, but I didn't write it down, and the next day, I had forgotten it, which really annoys me, as it had been really good. I hate it when that happens. I have a notepad, but I never bring it with me, as I have no idea where to keep it. The pockets in the front of my pants are always filled, wallet, keys, mobile, portable mp3 player, and whatever, and my rear pockets, well... I sit on them. Uncomfy to sit on a notepad, and I bet it's not too good for the notepad's condition either. *sigh* Some things aren't meant to be remembered I guess.

Posted at 10:31 by darkphoenix
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